Friday, 22 March 2013


No need to check the date... April 1st is next week. This is a true story.

Panda pornography - what the heck is that all about?

Giant Panda researchers in China recently decided to screen some steamy "panda porn" to get Ke Lin, a 5yo female giant panda, in the mood for love.

As the South China Morning Post notes, researchers at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in Sichuan province, China, had become concerned after Ke Lin repeatedly rejected attempts by her male companion Yong Yong to mate with her. They feared that she would miss her annual oestrus cycle, which only lasts for three days a year.

Panicked, the researchers decided to play a video of pandas mating in the wild to pique Ke Lin's interest.

Incredibly, the "panda porn" tactic appeared to work. According to, Ke Lin was "fascinated" by the sexy video. She is said to have watched it attentively, before finally allowing Yong Yong to mate with her. (Wonder if they shared a cigarette afterwards?)

"In the wild, Ke Lin would have seen lots of other pandas mating but in captivity, it's no wonder she needed help," a spokesman for the breeding centre said, according to the SCMP.

Researchers added this was the first time they had screened "panda porn" to encourage mating.

Due to the widespread destruction of their natural habitat, "most giant pandas are now bred in captivity," reports the SCMP. But unfortunately, many pandas are said to "lose sexual interest once domesticated."

And the panda porn film titles? Apparently Tan Tan does Taipei  is very popular, along with Last Bamboo in Beijing  and When Ari Ari ate Sal-Li...

Zoos aren't really my thing, if I'm honest with you. I once took a girlfriend to Twycross Zoo and we noticed that the baboon enclosure was deserted.

"Where are the baboons?" my companion asked.

"Oh, they're inside" said the attendant "it's the mating season, you know" he added.

"Do you think they'll come out if we gave them a piece of banana?" she asked.

"Would you?" the attendant replied...

Interesting fact - Atoms have mass apparently. I didn't know they were Catholic!

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Thursday, 21 March 2013


A planned 3p rise in beer duty has been scrapped and replaced by a 1p cut in the price of a pint.

In yesterday's budget, Chancellor George Osborne said the alcohol duty escalator - which adds inflation plus 2% to the price - would be abolished for beer completely.

The brewing industry and real ale drinkers' group CAMRA welcomed the news as "brilliant" and "momentous".

The reduction in the beer price starts from Sunday "and I expect it to be passed on in full to customers", Osborne said.  He noted that 10,000 pubs had closed in the last 10 years and that the industry needed support.

The brewing industry had campaigned strongly for a freeze in duty. "But I'm going to go one step further," Mr Osborne said. "We're taking a penny off a pint... All other duties will remain as previously announced."

The beer escalator was due to run until 2014-15. About £1 of the price of a pint is taken in VAT and excise duty, and prices are also rising because of the increasing cost of raw materials and energy used in brewing.
Mike Benner, chief executive of the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA), said: "This is a momentous day for Britain's beer drinkers, who will tonight be raising a glass to the chancellor for axing this damaging tax escalator and helping keep pub-going affordable for hard-pressed consumers.
Since the duty escalator was introduced in 2008, 5,800 pubs have been forced to call last orders for good. What could have been the final nail in the coffin for our pubs has been decisively avoided by the chancellor in a move that will spark celebration in pubs across the UK."

CAMRA gathered more than 100,000 names on a petition last December calling for a freeze on duty, which led to a parliamentary debate. The group estimated that beer taxes had risen 42% since 2008.

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