Thursday, 22 December 2011


Season’s greetings!

Aaahhhh Christmas! – my dear Mum, bless her, truly loved this time of year – for as she used to say it was the only occasion she got to strangle a turkey! Not one for protocol either was she - you would often see her dipping into the After Eight mints from 7:30pm! She didn't care! Outrageous!

Naturally it’s that special occasion to celebrate with family and friends, of course it is  - but it’s also a time to reflect and think about those who are sadly no longer with us.

As a ten year-old, I pestered my poor Dad endlessly to get me a bike for Christmas... 

I’ve got my eye on a Raleigh bike, Dad! It’s in the cycle shop window on the High Road! Come and have a look?”

Aahhh! Keep your eye on it son by all means” he jokingly replied “because I doubt you’ll ever get your ar*e on it!”

I shouldn’t have been so surprised really with my Dad; he gave me an empty shoe box the year before proclaiming that I had been given a rare Action Man figure – a deserter in this case - and then there was Christmas three years earlier when he convinced me that the cupboard under the stairs contained my own special money box – only to realise many years later it was the gas meter!

So I decided to ask God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way; so I stole a bike and asked for His forgiveness, instead!

I never did quite understand why my Dad treated each festive season with such military discipline and an approach to those few days at home where almost a siege-like mentality existed. It wasn't so much a time to relax and pig-out but more a restaging of the Siege of Khartoum - he never quite accepted that the shops would indeed be open for business directly after the holidays and food, toilet rolls and cigarettes would be available once more. If there was ever going to be a dysentry outbreak in greater Nottingham during Christmas - we were more than prepared for it! Three days at home without shopping, that's all we had to contend with - but we ended up with enough food in the larder to last until Burns' Night...

Cherished memories...

Christmas cracker - and no mstake...
Remember - Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad...


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